The answer is yes. Stop agonizing, just do it.
Too easy? Okay, let's try again, let's take it slow ...
You've been thinking about divorce for a while now. Certainly weeks, but probably at least months if you're honest with yourself, and maybe even years, longer than you want to admit. You've thought about it, maybe you've even talked about it, in half-jest with the undercurrent of seriousness that neither one of you want to acknowledge. You both know it's over. You know it, but you haven't pulled the trigger.
Because you're not sure. Is it really time to give up? The good things are still good, aren't they? What will people say? What about the finances? What about the kids? Have you really given it your all? Have you looked deep inside yourself, addressed your own shortcomings and weaknesses, been honest with yourself even if that seems even harder than being honest with your spouse? Are you really ready to call it quits? Are you a quitter? What will happen after? Will you find love again? Do you ever want try again?
If these questions look terribly familiar to you, then there is a simple answer to all of them: Get Out Now. YES, get divorced.
It's not the easy answer, in fact it's going to be hard as hell, but it's the simple answer because it's simply right.
Why aren't those other questions worth discussing, familiar as they are? Oh they are definitely worth it, and some of them are critical to your life ahead. But if the torturous questions about divorce look familiar, it is because they have been rolling around your head for months and years, banging around your skull like a turbocharged pinball, and the answers aren't getting any easier. You want to keep asking those questions, looking for more like them, because asking these questions is a solid way to put off the right answer to the only question that can address what's fundamentally wrong here.
You can put off the pain, but you’re also putting off true happiness.
Yes, get divorced. It will feel like the luckiest day of your life.