Do you have a problem with that? Then you definitely need therapy - that was just a test, and you failed!
Seriously, if you're getting divorced, you're going through some heavy shiznit. You're going to have some nights, or days, or more, when you're not going to like the thoughts rattling around in your head. You've got to get out from under it. Do you really think you can lift that load all by yourself?
Sure, there’s fat people in the gym, trying to get in shape. But you know who else is in the gym, like all the time? People who are in awesome shape, people who have incredible bodies, people who can lift your lumpy body over their heads like a sack of potatoes.
Now, it’s certainly possible to get your body into shape with just your own dedication and self-taught fitness programs. But it’s a hell of a lot more certain that you’ll get into shape if you hire a personal trainer. Your trainer never gets lazy, never wants to take the day off, never chooses to sleep in rather than work you out. Your trainer knows that they only keep getting paid if you keep getting fitter. Even if you’re in great shape, it helps to use a trainer once in a while to examine your fitness goals, honestly assess your progress, and refresh your program.
Just like getting your body into shape, getting your head right is an ongoing exercise, requiring regular dedication, honest assessment, and frequent fine-tuning. You could maybe do this yourself, but you’re more certain to get to the right place if you have the help of a therapist.
Just as there are fad workouts and diet programs, there are different flavors and fashions of therapy. There's at least as many ways of working out your mindset as there are for working out your body.
Psychoanalysis is like working out with kettlebells. The kettlebell is an old-school European program, with modern variations that come into vogue time and again. Psychoanalysis originates in the old-school Freudian theory that delves into your relationship with mommy and asks you about that one weird dream you had where your father was dressed as a scary clown. This stuff is heavy lifting, concentrated on certain exercise to build a strong and connected core, and works great to get certain body types into one particular idealized form.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is like interval training. In interval training, you have periods of intense exercise interspersed with brief rest periods. This cycle improves your ability to manage the chemical buildup that causes your muscles to seize up, preventing them from working at full capacity. CBT focuses on specific techniques to dissipate the buildup of similar sludge in your head, getting you to realize and address what's going on before it becomes a problem that seizes up your emotions and behavior. It’s simply effective and only painful because it works.
Humanistic psychology is the SoulCycle® of therapy. SoulCycle takes the mundane exercise of riding a stationary bike and turns it into a transcendental experience of sweat, tears and dance. Humanistic therapy tries to reach into your soul and make you become more of yourself because you are a beautiful, sexy beast. Actually, it’s not clear whether humanistic therapy and SoulCycle aren’t the same thing. People love them both with cult-like devotion, and you can’t say it doesn’t work when you look at the successful examples.
Integrative psychotherapy is yoga. No I mean it, it really is yoga, created by yoga-lovers so they could keep doing yoga on the couch. A blending of Eastern spiritualism with Western theory, integral therapy seeks to elevate your consciousness to achieve emotional, cultural and social balance. If you like yoga, you’ll love integrative therapy.
Coherence therapy is like CrossFit®. Like many exercise regimes, CrossFit is multidisciplinary and intense, but CrossFit enthusiasts are sure that this particular mix is the best, and everyone else is weak. Coherence therapy is committed to bringing a life-changing, transformational shift in emotional well-being, using modern techniques that get to the heart of the matter much faster than other approaches. So if you can be convinced that there’s a uniquely deep, powerful path to rewiring your brain, perhaps coherence therapy is for you.
Look, I kid, I kid in some of these descriptions. No approach is best for everybody, and anybody can have a bad experience with an approach that others love. My overriding point is that this is the same as with fitness trainers.
No one is too good to have a personal trainer once in a while, and some people benefit greatly from having a regular trainer - and this is equally true whether you’re pursuing your physical fitness or your emotional well-being. Finding the right person to work with your personal mix of issues can involve a little trial and error. But rest assured, there's someone out there who can help you. To get fit, get a trainer (therapist), and get to work.