You need help.
Divorce is an incredible opportunity to build a new life. When you are deep in the maze of a bad relationship, you can spend years accumulating a life that isn't what you want. Ultimately, the relationship was unsustainable because being true to yourself meant that you couldn't remain in the life that you found yourself in.
Now you are free to live life as your true self. Stop making your life about squeezing into some mask of you that isn't real.
That sounds great, but what the hell does that look like? Our Success Stories show what it looks like to be alive again.
You’ll know it if you get lucky enough to see it. You’ll know it when you meet a guy who’s made it, made it all the way to the other side. He’s bursting with vitality, but powered by an inner calm. When you talk to him, it’s like looking up at a blue patch of sky from the bottom of a well, deep underground. Because that’s where you are when you start, deep in a hole, a hell of your own making, the worst place you’ve ever been. You can’t imagine what it looks like to be whole again.
If you’re unlucky, you only talk about your hell with other lost men fumbling around in the dark at the bottom, full of bile, blame and bitterness.
Get out of that hole.
Most of the early advice you get about divorce is legal and financial. Although those areas are critical, they are only the paper and the numbers. And although there are a thousand incredibly complicated things you need to get right about that, the best advice is really very simple: Get a good lawyer. That’s it. The lawyer will get you a good accountant, and you’ll be on your way to getting it done on paper. But just getting your divorce finalized on paper is like trying to win a football game by reading the playbook. The paper only gets you so far, now you have to get back out there on the field.
The bad news is that almost everyone screws up one or more of these, diving into more years of misery. You need to understand these fundamentals and how to get them right:
Family. If you have kids, this is the big one.
Furnishings. This is about how you make the strange new space around you into your home.
Fitness. Get your head right, and get back in the game.
Food. Learn how to cook, if you don’t already. It's the secret key that will unlock other doors.
Dating ... for lack of a better word. Do you know what you're doing?